tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-267652912024-03-12T18:57:05.102-07:00NEOBlog: Canonically IrrelevantA romp through the irrelevant information and random shenanigans stored<br> within the mind of Nick Ochoa.Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-22359993847937606992010-11-13T18:47:00.000-08:002010-11-13T22:39:36.973-08:00Why I Don't Like Kristen Wiig<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://ccinsider.comedycentral.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/10/16/82830815.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px" src="http://ccinsider.comedycentral.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/10/16/82830815.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Anybody that follows my twitter on a Saturday Night (and why wouldn't you? I use it so much this blog has fallen into disuse) knows that I am a die-hard SNL fan. I've been following the show live since 2002 (I was 16) and aside from a few isolated shows in the early, pre-Hulu years, I've never missed an episode. I've also seen the vast majority of the 90s shows and a smattering of shows from the 70s and 80s. Even so I don't claim to know what's funny and what's not. There are <a href="http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/potato-chip/1182388">tons</a> <a href="http://kookoorikaboo.multiply.com/video/item/25/Bird_Family">of</a> <a href="http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/googly-eyes-gardener/237389/">sketches</a> I think are hilarious that most others probably don't, and I'm sure it works vice versa.<div><br /></div><div>That all being said, I've noticed a growing trend in the show that I find somewhat disappointing, giving its legacy of top-tier, groundbreaking humor: lazy, annoying, recurring characters. And the woman most responsible for these characters is presented to you stage left: <b>Kristen Wiig</b>. Now Wiig is not the first performer to fall into this trap. Both well known alums <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x6g8ny_matt-foley-halloween-special_fun">Chris Farley</a> and <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/4129/saturday-night-live-rockettes-open-audition">Molly Shannon</a> had characters with similar personalities that they ended up running into the ground. Current cast-member <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/121070/saturday-night-live-riley">Fred Armisen</a> is starting to fall into this category as well (as tends to happen after being on the show for 8 years). However not one single cast-member continues to bring out the same, annoying characters, week after week, for a decent chunk of show time.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now before I'm accused of bias, I don't hate Kristen Wiig. I actually liked her for her first 3 years on the show (she joined in 2005). I think she's pretty funny in pretty much anything she does outside of SNL. But in the early days of her tenure, she meshed well with the rest of the women and cast. She had some great sketches like the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rn2K2jyGSSo">awkward carpool with Alec Baldwin</a> and the <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/19272/saturday-night-live-two-a-holes-buying-a-christmas-tree">Two A-holes sketches</a> with Jason Sudeikis. However, once the veteran women performers Maya Rudolph and Amy Poehler left the show, things began to change. Wiig had slowly began to build up a small arsenal of characters that, while funny the first time, wouldn't work as recurring sketches because the characters fail to have any potential for further development. The ones that did have potential were simply reused in the same situation over and over again to the point where any shred of originality ceases to exist the third time they use the character.</div><div><br /></div><div>Let me illustrate with some examples. Some of Wiig's more popular characters include the <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/72441/saturday-night-live-target">Target Lady</a>, <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/11931/saturday-night-live-penelope--traffic-school">Penelope</a>, Sue (the "<a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/114930/saturday-night-live-surprise">surprise!</a>" woman), <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/53463/saturday-night-live-gilly">Gilly</a> ("sorry!"), and lesser used but still tired <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/182713/saturday-night-live-shanna-basketball-game">Shana</a>. All of these characters feature Wiig in a somewhat silly costume using a weird voice. Wiig is hardly the first SNL player to use this to generate her humor (Adam Sandler, anyone?), and all of these characters work well on a solitary basis. The characters also feature an easily recognizable quote, and Wiig is often the sole star (or acts like it) of the sketch, with anyone else rotating in and out of supporting roles to her maniacal whims. It's fun the first time around.</div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately, we get these characters several different times. And each time, the audience already knows what's going to happen because the writers (or Wiig) do nothing to further the character beyond her one amusing quirk. The Target Lady will always wander off for a bargain. Penelope will always try and one-up the other characters. Sue will eventually do something crazy before she spills the surprise. and Gilly (sorry!) will always end up killing or seriously injuring the other students. There is no change of scenery, no different characters, no progress from sketch to sketch. It's as if time stands still. In the Shana sketches, the same three guys are always attracted to her bubbly and sexual way of speaking, only to be immediately grossed out whenever she actually does anything. Over and over again. As a viewer I'm not supposed to know the outcome of the sketch, yet every time I see one of Wiig's characters, I do.</div><div><br /></div><div>This is not solely a Wiig problem. Lots of recurring characters suffer this same problem with the current show and writing staff. But Wiig is a repeat offender given her perceived popularity, general hammy-ness, and shear number of characters.</div><div><br /></div><div>Wiig's popularity spike has also caused her to be the go-to female for writers, despite the continued presence and rotation of other females in and out of the show. Since 2007, with the departure of Maya Rudolph, 4 different women (<a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/4b0a16ff71/casey-wilson-reads-internet-comments">Casey Wilson</a>, <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/67442/saturday-night-live-update-celebrity-blogger">Michaela Watkins</a>, <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/114927/saturday-night-live-new-doorbells">Jenny Slate</a>, and <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/55592/saturday-night-live-update-angelina-jolie">Abby Elliott</a>) have rotated in and out of the show without making much on impact. It seems like these women were routinely passed over for roles that were give to the more mundane Wiig characters. Abby Elliott has been on the show for THREE years and I have no idea if she even has a single character. Sure, some of this is because Wiig is a strong female lead, but both Wilson and Watkins had star potential as well. Wiig performed well in a group with other strong women before, now she simply dominates over everyone else, including the men. There is simply no reason why this should be the case.</div><div><br /></div><div>SNL has been due for a revolution for awhile. There are many funny, talented people on the show, but something just hasn't been clicking for the last few years (save the spike of awesomeness during the 2008 election year). It is unfair to put the blame solely on Wiig, but as the most prominent cast-member with such blatantly bland, poorly-written characters... she definitely gets the lions share of it.</div><div><br /></div><div>On the plus side, <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/107508/saturday-night-live-roomies">Nasim Pedrad</a> is pretty funny.</div>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-58787169149858063582010-05-25T00:17:00.000-07:002010-05-25T21:22:41.883-07:00LOST: Live Together, Die Together<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.ericbaskauskas.info/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/lost-supper-Season6.gif"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 550px; height: 367px;" src="http://www.ericbaskauskas.info/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/lost-supper-Season6.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Obvious warning: Here be SPOILERS.</span><br /><br />Hello, blog. It's been awhile but I think I have something that I can talk about for more than 140 characters. Unless you've been living under a rock, I'm sure you are aware that the LOST finale aired on Sunday night, causing millions of people to stop what they were doing and watch a show that most people haven't seen since season 3 (not that I blame them, season 3 was pretty bad). Milestone claims aside, I think it's safe to say that this finale was probably one of the most anticipated and hyped television events in the last decade, if not ever. For those of us who were not sucked in the show first started, myself included ("a bunch of people stuck on an island? lame"), we were pulled in by the friend who had "just bought the first season" or had the burning desire to know just what was in that hatch that everyone was talking about. It was addicting and consuming, but at times lost its way and jumped around more times than the survivors did when the Island started jumping around in time. I survived until then end, so before I take you into my thoughts on the finale, I figured I'd give you some insight on my investment as a fan.<br><br /><span class="fullpost"><br />I first caught on to the show via a first season DVD set that my college roommates had acquired, and began watching the show live midway through the second season. I don't know what I would have done if I had to wait a summer to find out what was in the hatch. At the time I was a firm believer that the show shouldn't head past a third season out of fear that it would grow stale. I mean, they have to get off the Island some time, right? Of course, six seasons in and I was still watching. Maybe I wasn't as invested once everyone started leaving the Island ("We have to go back!"), but I still wanted to know how the damn thing was going to end.<br /><br />That being said I think we can break LOST up into two distinct chunks, and I think the chunk you prefer dictates the type of fan you are. The first chunk consists of seasons 1-3, and is mostly concerned with on-Island activities and character development. I also call this chunk the "Walt-relevant" period as during this part of the show, there's a kid named Walt who is kind of special and might be the key to a lot of things. During this period we learn about our main characters as well as the other people on the island, and we delve a little into some science-explainable Island mysteries (electromagnetism, Dharma, sonic fences, jamming beacons, etc). The second chunk consists of seasons 4-6, and is primarily concerned with off-Island developments as well as learning more about the Island itself as opposed to the characters on it. The actor playing Walt has aged 10 years overnight so he's written out of the story, and the science-explainable events give way to science-fantasy (time displacement, ageless guardians, mythological games and rules, moving Islands, etc). Obviously there is bleed over between the two sections (there's always a smoke monster around, and Daniel Faraday is metaphysical theory incarnate), but I think this is a solid place to generally split the show. The first jarring realization that the show is much bigger than it is in season 3 is the reveal of the flashforwards (not to be confused with the poser show of the same name), which show that the characters will get off the Island, but for whatever reason will desperately want to return. I think it's important to be able to take in and accept both of these elements of the show in order to fully appreciate the finale.<br /><br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.geekforcefive.com/images/uploads/lost_jack-locke-arguing.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 300px;" src="http://www.geekforcefive.com/images/uploads/lost_jack-locke-arguing.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">yes ladies, this man-on-man action has been brewing for awhile.</span><br /></div><br />For the record I think I've enjoyed both parts equally. I was on board with season 4's mass slaughter of secondary characters related to seasons 1-3, I was on board with season 5's crazy time travel, and I was on board with season 6's humanization of Jacob and the Man in Black. And I've long accepted that I'll never really know why the Others kidnapped random people or why Walk caused birds to crash into his window. I accepted that I'd never really know why Jacob doesn't age and why if he touches people, he give s them a gift. I've accepted those things for what they are, and I didn't expect to hear Ben say "by the way this is why we were douchebags to you guys for three seasons" while they were on the way to defeating the Man in Black in the finale. I didn't expect to get those kind of answers.<br /><br />Overall, I was pleased with the finale and it certainly elicited the emotions in me that I'm sure the writers were going for. It was nice seeing everyone together again at the end and it presented a good message of hope and the importance of friendship, and that it was the journey that everyone went on that brought them close together. I liked that Desmond, always my favorite character on the show, was the catalyst for bringing everyone together in the alternate reality and for enabling the on-Island defeat of the Man in Black. And I loved the image of Vincent being the last thing that Jack saw, tying in with him being the first thing he saw on arrival to the Island way back all those years before.<br /><br />But on reflection I can't help but feel a little cheated by the obvious deus ex machina of the whole thing, as well as how much the closing narrative relied on Jack. Jack has always been the central character of the show, there's no denying that, but having all the characters wait around for Jack to finally decide to wake up kind of lessened their importance. Making the alternate timeline just a metaphorical purgatory put into question what, if anything, the survivors had accomplished at the end of season 5 when Juliet detonated the H-bomb. It invalidates all of Daniel Faraday's theories about changing the future and the sacrifices made my him and others involved. Furthermore, having Christian Shephard say that "everyone was dead", while technically true, really lessened the on-Island events of the exact same episode. Sure it was nice seeing Jack save the day and watching the plane leave with Hurley in charge of the Island, but this scene basically says "what happens after that isn't important, they all died at some point which doesn't matter and now you're here." Well, sure everyone dies eventually, I guess, but then why did it matter that I just invested myself in watching these people survive? Why does it matter if the plane leaves or not, or if Sun and Jin die on the sub, if everyone dies eventually? It just puts a damper on all the tension that was felt up until that point.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://tv.spreadit.org/pics/lost-finale.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 480px; height: 320px;" src="http://tv.spreadit.org/pics/lost-finale.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;">"Yes, I died. We all died. The Island looks like it sucked, but I drank myself to death and am here anyway, so... maybe next time you won't have to do all that."</span><br /><br /></div>Bringing it back to my point about the two chunks of the series, the finale is not a finale for the Island and the second half of the show, but more for the characters we fell in love with in the first chunk. All of the Island developments past season 3 were put aside in favor of uniting our characters for a happy ending, so much so that I found myself caring less and less what was happening on the Island and more about what was happening in the alternate timeline as the finale went on. I felt like it was leading up to some grand unification between the two, where the characters in one timeline would absorb the consciousnesses of the other, which would ultimately put the fate of the Island to rest. This payoff never came, and while I was satisfied with the emotional denouement of the series as a whole, I was left with a feeling of "that's it?" for the on-Island timeline. I don't think I ever got the sense of urgency from the whole "don't let MIB off the Island!" mission, as opposed to the "stop the Others from killing us all, prevent the Swan station from exploding and killing as all, prevent the freighter from killing us all" missions of finales past. It was never really explained what he would do if he left and why it was bad, and by the time they hinted at it (very late in the season in "Across the Sea", the 3rd to last epiosde), I cared more about the alternate timeline with Desmond awakening people. I know in the end this was the writers' intention, but ultimately I was left with a feeling that nothing on the Island mattered, it was more about the journey. And while that's a nice way to cap off the character arcs, I feel like it really downplays the importance of the Island itself as a character.<br /><br />All of that being said I teared up like a baby when Vincent laid down next to Jack. Image-wise it was a very fitting end to a roller-coaster show. And that's not to mention the whole Juliet/Sawyer scene. Sunuvabitch.<br /></span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-51336658459673446802009-11-12T23:21:00.000-08:002009-11-12T23:30:13.290-08:00Finally Getting Reimbursed<a href="http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y26/infinitekaos/?action=view&current=scan0001.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y26/infinitekaos/scan0001.jpg" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Finally getting a return on my high school tuition investment. That's right, the payer has become the payee! YOU WORK FOR ME NOW! BIZARRO BIZARRO<br /><br />Only, what, 100k to go? I'll get there.Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-16835646622804536762009-10-28T14:06:00.000-07:002009-10-28T15:25:54.062-07:00Top 25 Best Saturday Night Live Sketches Ever (Part 5)<span style="font-style: italic;">Tonight I present the final 4 (ish) of my top 25 SNL sketches series, including numbers 1-4.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4. The Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southhampton</span><br />from episode 16.12 - Kevin Bacon, Original Air Date 02/09/1991<br /><br />(Apologies for the poor video, it was the only one I could find. <a href="http://snltranscripts.jt.org/90/90lclapping.phtml">TRANSCRIPT</a> for those who need it.)<br /><br /><object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/jWc-8E3zec0&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/jWc-8E3zec0&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0xe1600f&color2=0xfebd01" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="385" width="480"></embed></object><br /><br />SNL has been around for so long that every generation who's watched it (there should be 3 of them, now) will either think that their era is the best or that SNL "wasn't as good as it used to be in the 70s/80s/90s/before Will Ferrell left. A lot of these opinions depend on the strength of both the writing and of the cast, and it is rare that an era so gelled these two qualities together than is evident in the shows from the late 80s/early 90s. Lacking the penchant to over rely on recurring characters that writers and cast today often do (I'm looking at you, <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/53463/saturday-night-live-gilly">Kristen</a> <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/53461/saturday-night-live-update-judy-grimes">Wiig!</a>), this era produced many standalone sketches of brilliance that stand the test of time. Led by the always dramatically hilarious Phil Hartman, the Sarcastic Clapping Family of Southampton is a sketch that has always been ingrained in my head from the first time I saw it. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Nice.<br /><br /><br /><span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">3. White Like Me</span><br />from episode 10.09 - Eddie Murphy, Original Air Date 12/15/1984<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/pHudtlffrTOOdU5Iz87YEg"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/pHudtlffrTOOdU5Iz87YEg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />It is unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on the season in question) that I have been unable to see very many episodes from the Dick Ebersol period of SNL, the early 80s experiment that occurred after the original cast and producer Lorne Michaels left the show before the disastrous 1980 season. The best thing that supposedly came from this period is that it was the launching pad for arguably one of SNL's greatest exports: Eddie Murphy. While Murphy has effectively shunned the show that gave him his start (never appearing at cast reunions or providing much insight into his time there), he was perhaps at his funniest during these times. This pre-taped gem not only is utterly hilarious, but also manages to tackle race relations in a manner that Dave Chappelle dreams he could accomplish.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2A. Nude Beach</span><br />from episode 14.02 - Matthew Broderick, Original Air Date 10/15/1988<br /><br /><a href="http://snltranscripts.jt.org/88/88bnudebeach.phtml">TRANSCRIPT</a><br /><br />Also known as "the penis sketch," this is probably one of the most infamous sketches in SNL history, and it's so hard to come by that I've never actually seen the whole thing. I would do a write-up about it but this lady does a <a href="http://www.retrojunk.com/details_articles/964/">much better job</a> at explaining its awesomess. Suffice to say, no video is available online. That being said...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2B. Celebrity Jeopardy (with John Goodman)</span><br />from episode 22.19 - John Goodman, Original Air Date 05/10/1997<br /><br /><object height="360px" width="425px"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="movie" value="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=39913480,t=1,mt=video"><embed src="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=39913480,t=1,mt=video" allowfullscreen="true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="360" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />...clocking in and sharing the number 2 spot is the CLASSIC Celebrity Jeopardy sketch, probably the most famous thing to come out of SNL in its long history. With 14 sketches over a 15 year span, it was very hard to pick just one (let alone one that doesn't feature Sean Connery), but in the end I had to go with the Brando/Donahue/Reynolds bit (the<a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/12203/saturday-night-live-celebrity-jeopardy---stewart-reynolds-and-connery"> Stewart/Connery/Reynolds</a> one is already all over most of the DVDs). Before he was fired, Norm MacDonald's un-caring Burt Reynolds was the recurring guest, which freed up Darrell Hammond to tackle other impressions such as this perfect take on talk show host Phil Donahue. As usual Norm just has fun with Burt and annoys Trebek in a less childish way than Connery would later do, but I think the real winner here is John Goodman channeling a perfect senile Marlon Brando. As a whole the Celebrity Jeopardy sketches represent the best part about SNL in the 90s, and is one of the few sketches that will almost always have something funny in it no matter how many times they drag it out every time Will Ferrell hosts.<br /><br />Some bonus runners up: <a href="http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/649224/">Travolta/Reynolds/Keaton</a>, <a href="http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/649075/">Connery/Driver/Goldblum</a> (hilarious Goldblum by David Duchovny!), and the now classic <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/73362/saturday-night-live-jeopardy">Kathie Lee/Hanks/Connery/Reynolds</a> from '09.<br /><br /><br />1. First Presidential Debate (Bush/Gore)<br />from episode 26.01 - Rob Lowe, Original Air Date 10/07/2000<br /><br /><object height="360px" width="425px"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="movie" value="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=46553889,t=1,mt=video"><embed src="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=46553889,t=1,mt=video" allowfullscreen="true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="360" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />You may wonder why this is what I consider to be the best SNL sketch of all time. This is one of the few on this list that I actually remember coming out when I was younger, and in retrospect it sums up perfectly the political and social power that SNL can have at its pinnacle. Before the <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/37730/saturday-night-live-vp-debate-open-palin--biden">Tina Fey/Palin sketches</a> of this past season, this was the benchmark for SNL political humor. The sketch pits then Governor George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) against Vice President Al Gore (Darrell Hammond at his peak) in a satire of the actual debates occurring at the time. The crux of the sketch isn't necessarily the great impressions (Ferrell's Bush is more of a caricature than anything), but of the ingenious ability of the writers to nail down the two candidates traits to two words that the media was able to pick up and run with: "lockbox" and "strategery," the latter of which became synonymous with the Bush administration. Some have said that the public voted not based on the real candidates but rather their SNL portrayals, and whatever that says about America, it sure says a lot about SNL's raw power and influence that continues to this day, no matter how many times Andy Samberg <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/1415/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-people-getting-punched-right-before-eating">punches things</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">In my next entry, which hopefully won't be 4 months from now, I'll list some runners up.</span><br /><br /></span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-25708255061337401162009-07-20T00:33:00.000-07:002009-10-28T02:28:03.594-07:00Top 25 Best Saturday Night Live Sketches Ever (Part 4)<span style="font-style: italic;">Tonight I present part 4 of my top 25 SNL sketches series, including numbers 5-9. Not much longer now until the top 5!<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">9. Delicious Dish (with Alec Baldwin #1)<br /></span>from episode 24.09 - Alec Baldwin, Original Air Date 09/12/1998<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/7YOK89B0wGj24qT21nhVAw"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/7YOK89B0wGj24qT21nhVAw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />This is one of those Christmas classics that for some reason or another works on several different levels. The Delicious Dish sketches were always dead-on parodies of NPR programming, and both Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon (in a rare subdued role) perfectly spoof the typically smooth-voiced hosts of public radio, complete with lame jokes and square puns. Alec Baldwin is the real show stopper here, however, as he just as monotonously described his holiday creations with little to no regard to the rampant double entendres spewing out of his mouth. Most people have seen this sketch at some point or another, but the perfectly delivered punchline always delivers to me. Good times, good times.<br /><br /><br /><span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">8. The Angry Boss</span><br />from episode 26.18 - Pierce Brosnan, Original Air Date 05/05/2001<br /><br /><object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" id="viddler_c90b59cc" height="370" width="437"><param name="movie" value="http://www.viddler.com/player/c90b59cc/"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.viddler.com/player/c90b59cc/" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" name="viddler_c90b59cc" height="370" width="437"></embed></object><br /><br />I think it's safe to say that this might be Will Ferrell's craziest moment on SNL, and that's really saying something. Will is always good at playing angry, hyper-manly characters, but I think the writing is what really takes this one over the top, as well as Brosnan's attempts at not laughing and the usual brilliance from Chris Parnell as Will's "nemesis." Many of the jokes seem to be prototypes of what would later appear in Anchorman, so I'm willing to bet that they had the same writer. Above all this sketch perfectly utilizes the rule of over-doing something just the right amount to keep it funny.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7. Space: The Infinite Frontier (with Jeff Goldblum)</span><br />from episode 22.20 - Jeff Goldblum, Original Air Date 05/17/1997<br /><br /><object height="300" width="400"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><param name="allownetworking" value="all"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><param name="quality" value="high"><param name="flashvars" value="config=http://www.fandome.com/xml/jwConfig.php?vid=26578%26width%3D400%26height%3D300"><param name="src" value="http://flash.fandome.com/sportsbox.swf"><embed src="http://flash.fandome.com/sportsbox.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" id="videoId" name="videoId" allowscriptaccess="always" allownetworking="all" quality="high" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" flashvars="config=http://www.fandome.com/xml/jwConfig.php?vid=26578%26width%3D400%26height%3D300" height="300" width="400"></embed></object><div><a href="http://www.fandome.com/" title="Sports Videos, News, Blogs"><img src="http://www.fandome.com/img/poweredBy.png" style="border: medium none ;" alt="Sports Videos, News, Blogs" /></a></div><br />What, two Will Ferrell sketches in a row? I say it's unavoidable in a list like this, and several other sketches with him just barely didn't make the cut. Anyway, Will was not the greatest impressionist during his tenure on SNL, however like his predecessor Dana Carvey, he became known for exaggerating certain aspects of his subjects' personality and forming his impression off of that. His eccentric take on legendary Chicago Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray would certainly qualify as exaggerated, and while quite amusing in his own right (see <a href="http://fr.truveo.com/will-ferrell-as-harry-caray/id/58391579">this runner-up video</a> of him on Colin Quinn's first Update), the absurdity is taken to another level when the character is inexplicably placed in his own space show. Add in Jeff Goldblum, and needless to say, hillarity ensues.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6. Matt Foley: Motivational Speaker (with Christina Applegate)</span><br />from episode 18.19 - Christina Applegate, Original Air Date 05/08/1993<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/jT5PtOqWjmH9J-RxMLvkXw"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/jT5PtOqWjmH9J-RxMLvkXw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />Chris Farley was one of the most genuinely funny guys to ever grace the SNL stage, and in doing so created one of the most memorable characters of the 1990s. Farley had a penchant for physical humor, throwing himself about the stage with remarkable ease and dexterity while flailing his arms and legs and shouting in his loud, thundering voice. All of these elements combined to create a diminutive, angry motivational speaker who despite all his shortcomings still managed to find work over 3 seasons on SNL. The first sketch will always be the best, though, with a rare crack-up from David Spade as he understandably is overwhelmed by Farley's brute force sense of humor.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5. Behind the Music: Blue Oyster Cult</span><br />from episode 25.16 - Christopher Walken, Original Air Date 04/08/2000<br /><br /><iframe src="http://www.snotr.com/embed/261" frameborder="0" height="330" width="400"></iframe><br /><br />Considered by some to be the greatest SNL sketch of all time, the infamous "More cowbell" sketch lands on my list and number 5. There's not much I can really say about this that hasn't already been said. While Ferrell and Walken are thr ones who usually get credit for the shear absurd hillarity of this sketch, there's no way it would have been as funny without Parnell's straight-man, and yes, even Jimmy Fallon's standard laughter plays a key role in this, for it sets off the chain reaction that eventually gets the entire cast, including Ferrell, to laugh, a rare occurance indeed. I've got a fever!<br /><br /></span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-3149454144956368042009-07-10T15:12:00.000-07:002009-07-10T18:25:57.912-07:00Facebook Video DumpI decided spontaneously to go back through my entire Facebook profile and archive all of the random video things that I've ever put up into one neat and tidy blog post. As a side note, I was quite surprised to find how far back my Facebook records actually go (January 2005). That's some scary stuff. Anyway what follows is some not so scary stuff, chronologically from most current to oldest. Things that I consider especially awesome are in <span style="font-weight: bold;">bold.</span><br /><span class="fullpost"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">July 8 2009 - </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1913584">Web Site Story</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> (CollegeHumor)</span><br />July 7 2009 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/81587/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-conan-explores-the-universal-lot">Conan Explores the Universal Studios Lot</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Tonight Show</span>, Hulu)<br />July 4 2009 - <a href="http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=6171958">Team America music video</a> (MySpace)<br />July 2 2009 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4jKQCtviMw">Me dancing to Journey from 2007</a> (YouTube)<br />June 30 2009 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/80429/the-colbert-report-jeff-goldblum-will-be-missed">Jeff Goldblum "Memorial"</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Colbert Report</span>, Hulu)<br />June 23 2009 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/79065/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-johnny-strange">Johnny Strange Interview</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Tonight Show</span>, Hulu)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">June 20 2009 - </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://widgets.nbc.com/cscallback/urlexchange/4727a250e66f9723/facebook.html?x=E5kqkyyTf5YrlHuSKMInkyyXM5B_l3qVK5wrwCzBJpArnCqJKpMsk3.WK5QvxSzFLsIrnQ">Triumph Visits Bonnaroo</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> (</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">The Tonight Show</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">, NBC.com)</span><br />June 17 2009 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzgOS8dbF64">Obama kills fly during interview</a> (YouTube)<br />June 15 2009 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCwn1NTK-50">Crossfire commercial</a> (YouTube)<br />June 10 2009 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/76598/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-conan-and-andy-canoe-the-la-river">Conan and Andy Canoe the LA River</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Tonight Show</span>, Hulu)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">June 2 2009 - </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/75578/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-conan-takes-the-tram">Conan Takes the Universal Tram</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> (</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">The Tonight Show</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">, Hulu)</span><br />June 2 2009 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/75460/the-tonight-show-with-conan-obrien-cold-open-of-the-first-show">Tonight Show Cold Open</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Tonight Show</span>, Hulu)<br />May 17 2009 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/73362/saturday-night-live-jeopardy">Celebrity Jeopardy w/Tom Hanks, Norm MacDonald</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">SNL</span>, Hulu)<br />May 12 2009 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8eKU3CP_m8">Kia "Soul Hamsters" commercial</a> (YouTube)<br />May 10 2009 - <a href="http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?affiliateId=facebook_share&content_id=4513507">Torii Hunter's amazing catch</a> (MLB.com)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">May 10 2009 - </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/72434/saturday-night-live-digital-short-motherlover-censored">Motherlover</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> (</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">SNL</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">, Hulu)</span><br />May 3 2009 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUYhcYw1ksw">Jack in the Box Menopause smoothie commercial</a> (YouTube)<br />March 18 2009 - <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-march-3-2009/mess-o-potamia---the-iraq-war-is-over">AIG/St. Patty's Day protesters</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Daily Show</span>, Comedy Central)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">March 12 2009 - </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDDHHrt6l4w">Saturday Morning Watchmen</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> (YouTube)</span><br />March 4 2009 - <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-march-3-2009/mess-o-potamia---the-iraq-war-is-over">Mess-o'Potamia: The War is Over</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Daily Show</span>, Comedy Central)<br />March 1 2009 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jDeXACc-5A">WKUK: Dumb Newscast</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">Whitest Kids U Know</span>, YouTube)<br />February 27 2009 - <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-february-25-2009/bobby-jindal-s-republican-response">Bobby Jindal's Republican Response</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Daily Show</span>, Comedy Central)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">February 22 2009 - </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/58210/late-night-with-conan-obrien-stephen-colbert-string-dance-off">Conan/Colbert String Dance-Off</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> (</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">Late Night w/Conan O'Brien</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">, Hulu)</span><br />February 16 2009 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/57936/saturday-night-live-scheduling-meeting">Scheduling Meeting from hell</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">SNL</span>, Hulu)<br />February 9 2009 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/56636/saturday-night-live-really-michael-phelps">Really?!?: Michael Phelps edition</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">SNL</span>, Hulu)<br />February 5 2009 - <a href="http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/216595/january-21-2009/stephen-s-remix-challenge">Stephen Colbert's Remix Challenge</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Colbert Report</span>, Comedy Central)<br />January 27 2009 - <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-january-26-2009/guantanamo-baywatch---the-final-season">Guantanamo Baywatch: The Final Season</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Daily Show</span>, Comedy Central)<br />January 19 2009 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/53457/saturday-night-live-gitmo-ad">Gitmo Closing Ad</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">SNL</span>, Hulu)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">January 13 2009 - </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/53099/saturday-night-live-whopper-virgins">Whopper Virgins</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> (</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">SNL</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">, Hulu)</span><br />January 13 2009 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/53001/saturday-night-live-digital-short-doogie-howser-theme">Orchestral Doogie Howser Theme</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">SNL</span>, Hulu)<br />January 7, 2009 - <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-january-5-2009/road-to-the-doghouse---puppedential-debate">Puppedential Debate</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Daily Show</span>, Comedy Central)<br />December 16 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hY7A4gZ1GVY">White House 2008 Barneycam</a> (CBS, YouTube)<br />December 16 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4">Jizz in My Pants</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">SNL</span>, YouTube)<br />November 28 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2bLNkCqpuY">Mad Men: The Carousel</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">Mad Men</span>, YouTube)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">November 20 2008 - </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-november-18-2008/cnn-s-magic-wall-conspiracy-thriller">CNN Magic Wall Conspiracy Thriller</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> (</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">The Daily Show</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">, Comedy Central)</span><br />November 12 2008 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/43172/the-office-role-playing">Role Playing w/Dwight</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Office</span>, Hulu)<br />November 7 2008 - <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-november-6-2008/sarah-palin-is-so-dumb---">Sarah Palin is So Dumb...</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Daily Show</span>, Comedy Central)<br />November 3 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHg2up3MJxA">Vote or Lie</a> (YouTube)<br />October 30 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzyT9-9lUyE">Obama and McCain Dance Off</a> (YouTube)<br />October 25 2008 - <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5rctg_mandalorian-dance_fun">Mandalorian Dance</a> (DailyMotion)<br />October 24 2008 -<a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/40676/saturday-night-live-update-thursday-bush-endorsement"> SNL Update Thursday: Bush Endorsement</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">SNL</span>, Hulu)<br />October 24 2008 - <a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-october-14-2008/10-000-mccainiacs">10,000 McCainiacs</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Daily Show</span>, Comedy Central)<br />October 24 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtZWwgw__WY">More Hatred at a Palin Rally</a> (YouTube)<br />October 16 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kev786igXk">Vincent Lin Must Die! Special Edition</a> (YouTube)<br />October 10 2008 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/38479/saturday-night-live-update-thursday-debate-open-part-1">SNL Update Thursday: Debate Opening</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">SNL</span>, Hulu)<br />September 28 2008 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/36863/saturday-night-live-couric--palin-open">Couric / Palin Opening</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">SNL</span>, Hulu)<br />September 27 2008 - <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4476649n%3Fsource%3Dmostpop_video">Katie Couric exclusive Palin interview</a> (CBS.com)<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">September 15 2008 - </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/34465/saturday-night-live-palin--hillary-open">Hillary / Palin Cold Opening</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> (</span><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">SNL</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">, Hulu)</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">September 5 2008 - </span><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://nickochoa.com/pretentious.html">The Pretentious and the Belligerent</a><span style="font-weight: bold;"> (Nickochoa.com)</span><br />July 8 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vsdtCuXS_I">ImprovEverywhere: Suicide Jumper</a> (YouTube)<br />July 8 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkYZ6rbPU2M">ImprovEverywhere: Food Court Musical</a> (YouTube)<br />May 21 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvkBvzpbBPs">WKUK: What Really Happened to Abe Lincoln</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">Whitest Kids U Know</span>, YouTube)<br />April 9 2008 - <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/16417/saturday-night-live-googly-eyes-gardener">Googly Eyes Gardener</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">SNL</span>, Hulu)<br />February 5 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fZHou18Cdk">Yes We Can Obama song by Will.i.am</a> (YouTube)<br />January 6 2008 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My_PVNnfLKg">The Pretentious and the Belligerent Promo Scene #1</a> (YouTube)<br />December 22 2007 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai1eQ4uya-U">Santa Saves Xmas</a> (YouTube)<br />August 16 2007 - <a href="http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/91011/august-02-2007/farewell-ingmar-bergman">Colbert Ingmar Bergman Tribute</a> (<span style="font-style: italic;">The Cobert Report</span>, Comedy Central)<br />June 14 2007 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Xacs8JpHWQ">Brains and Brawn Promo Scene #1</a> (YouTube)<br />May 17 2007 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dflrdb6RNjA">Open Toes Trailer #1</a> (YouTube)<br />March 26 2007 - <a href="http://nickochoa.com/meeting.html">The Meeting</a> (Nickochoa.com)<br />February 7 2007 - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPGs-_-77uA">Interruption. </a>(YouTube)<br /><br />And there you have it. I assume that before 2007 Facebook didn't have video posting capability, so that is EVERYTHING. Kind of amazing how much higher the volume is now than 2 years ago.<br /></span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-12044130233725327602009-06-01T00:02:00.001-07:002009-06-01T01:28:17.769-07:00A Handy Chart I Made<a href="http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y26/infinitekaos/?action=view&current=pixar.gif" target="_blank"><img src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y26/infinitekaos/pixar.gif" alt="Photobucket" border="0" /></a><br /><span class="fullpost">Seriously.</span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-22645172936030091802009-05-05T23:20:00.000-07:002009-06-01T01:02:13.932-07:00Top 25 Best Saturday Night Live Sketches Ever (Part 3)<span style="font-style: italic;">Tonight I present part 3 of my top 25 SNL sketches series, including numbers 10-14.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">14. Roxbury Guys (with Jim Carrey)<br /></span>from episode 21.20 - Jim Carrey, Original Air Date 05/18/1996<br /><br /><embed src="http://xml.truveo.com/eb/i/1274378403/a/5f62953ab8dba73576711df5b5a4d647/p/1" wmode="transparent" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="366" width="425"></embed><br /><br />Of all the SNL sketches that would eventually get turned into movies, this classic bit featuring Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan, and a rotating host seems like the least likely candidate. However something about the simple premise - a bunch of guys club hopping looking to "score" set to Haddaway's "What is Love" - just clicks. This particular version of this sketch was not the first nor the last, and while Tom Hanks, Sylvester Stalone, and Cameron Diaz put their own spins on the third character, it is the performance of Jim Carrey that pushes this sketch into legendary status... as well as the increasing absurdity of the locations that the brothers frequent. This sketch also gets bonus points for having 1995 era cell phones in it.<br /><br /><br /><span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">13. The French Chef</span><br />from episode 4.08 - Eric Idle, Original Air Date 12/09/1978<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/739Vg5LOox0HpooK6jqi_A"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/739Vg5LOox0HpooK6jqi_A" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />I think I saw this absurdly hilarious sketch on TV when I was younger, and frankly I'm surprised it didn't scar me in any way. That being said, one of the greatest strengths of early SNL was physical comedy - it was present in the earlier Belushi Samurai sketch, and it's equally present here in Dan Aykroyd's wonderful send up of cooking host Julia Child complete with a cleverly situated blood hose and perhaps one of the greatest understatements in sketch comedy history: "I've cut the dickens out of my finger."<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">12. Bill Clinton at McDonald's</span><br />from episode 18.08 - Tom Arnold, Original Air Date 12/05/1992<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/bT51j2ot9xMsYUEHI4muPQ"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/bT51j2ot9xMsYUEHI4muPQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />Nowadays Darrell Hammond is known as perhaps the best Bill Clinton impersonator around, however during his first few years in office he was played by Phil Hartman, who did an equally great job. However probably the sketch that both captured Clinton's mannerisms and public persona is this gem from before he was even elected president. The best part is the self-prophesizing line about there being a lot of things he won't tell Mrs Clinton about, several years before the Lewinsky scandal.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">11. Point/Counterpoint</span><br />from episode 4.15 - Margot Kidder, Original Air Date 03/17/1979<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/OWurlmoy0Ys6p3Hb_Bm6vQ"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/OWurlmoy0Ys6p3Hb_Bm6vQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />There have been many of these segments on Weekend Update over the years, but it was Dan Aykroyd who popularized the standard rebuttal of "Jane, you ignorant slut," delivered in a deadpan tone that only Aykroyd could pull off. On top of that, his response is some of the best writing to ever appear on the show.<br /><br /><br />10. Wayne's World with Aerosmith<br />from episode 15.13 - Tom Hanks, Original Air Date 02/17/1990<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/mD4lSHSv4NUXbaD8SF-mDw"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/mD4lSHSv4NUXbaD8SF-mDw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />Wayne's World is another iconic SNL sketch, and it was tough choosing between this one and the similarly amazing <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8bl6e_waynes-world-sketch-1990-featuring_fun">Madonna Dream</a> installment that parodies her "Justify My Love" video, but in the end I had to go with this one, simply because Mike Myers and Dana Carvey actually join Aerosmith at the end in playing the Wayne's World theme song. Oh, and Tom Hanks is in it, too. </span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-1232290897152640752009-04-13T23:56:00.000-07:002009-06-01T01:30:43.791-07:00Rembering Nick Adenhart<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20090410/bba-angels-pitcher-killed/images/2c6c6e62-47bb-418f-848c-44370f73011c.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 335px; height: 512px;" src="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20090410/bba-angels-pitcher-killed/images/2c6c6e62-47bb-418f-848c-44370f73011c.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>It's taken me a couple of days to gather my thoughts on the tragedy that occurred to a young Angels pitcher and his 3 friends last Wednesday night. For those of you who may not have heard, rookie Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart, 22, and three of his companions were involved in a hit and run drunk driving accident in the early hours of last Thursday. Adenhart and two of his three friends were killed when a drunk driver with a BAC three times the legal limit ran through a red light in Fullerton and broadsided their vehicle. The driver then attempted to flee the scene but was found and later detained. Earlier that evening, Adenhart had just pitched the best game of his young career against the Oakland Athletics.<br /><br /><span class="fullpost">When news of this tragedy first reached me, I was in shock. As most of you are probably aware, I'm a huge baseball fan and a devout follower of the Angels. I recently took a job as a fan photographer for Angels home games, and I was at the game that Wednesday night that Nick pitched in his final game. As a relatively young Angels fan myself, I had taken an interest in the young prospect because, being a year younger than me, he was the first player that I knew of to be younger than me in the Major Leagues. Beyond that, we shared the same first name, and based on a few stories I had read about him, we seemed to have the same quiet demeanor. In a way, I guess, I found myself able to identify with him, athletic talent not withstanding.<br /><br />Adenhart was first called up to the majors last year, in 2008, for a few spot starts due to injuries in the Angels' rotation. The young phenom would finally get a chance to show what he was capable of against Major League hitting. Unfortunately, things did not go well for him in his first couple of starts, and even though he collected his first Win as an Angel, he was sent down to the minors for the rest of the season. For 2009, injuries again allowed Adenhart to earn a spot on the opening day rotation, and this time, after several good starts in spring training, he was able to dominate in his first start in April against a fairly formidable A's lineup. Although he did not win the game (as the bullpen would give away the lead in later innings), that Nick pitched well was an understatement.<br /><br />It was only hours later that he was senselessly killed. This was not an accident through any fault of his own. He nor his friends were drunk. They were all wearing their seatbelts. They were proceeding through a routine green light at a routine intersection. And just like that, he was gone.<br /><br />I've talked about the baseball aspects of Nick mainly because I never got the chance to meet him in person. There are people far more qualified than me who have written far more personally about the event then I ever could. I feel so much for his family, for the players that played with him, for his friends. By all accounts he was as good of a kid as any. As a fan, I felt like I was losing a friend. I could not even begin to imagine what those who actually knew him have been feeling.<br /><br />As I've said, there are others who have been able to say things that I am unable to. While I haven't scoured the nets looking for articles about the tragedy (given that I get teary-eyed just thinking about it), below I've listed a few good places to start to get a better idea of who this young man was that we lost so early to drunk driving.<br /><br />Lyle Spencer, Angels beat writer - <a href="http://lylemspencer.mlblogs.com/archives/2009/04/remembering_nick.html">Remembering Nick</a><br />"Rev Halofan", owner of Halosheaven.com - <a href="http://www.halosheaven.com/2009/4/9/828592/the-loss-of-nick-adenhart">The Loss of Nick Adenhart</a><br />Bill Shaikin, LA Time writer - <a href="http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-shaikin-angels10-2009apr10,0,1635015.story?page=1">Alone with his grief in baseball cathedral</a><br />Dustin Moseley, Angels pitcher - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0AIIdXDqjA">video press conference</a><br />Torii Hunter, Angels outfielder - <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wicGyD1MbHY">MLB network phone call</a><br /><br />Someone on Halos Heaven mentioned that God needed Nick for his own All-Star team. I think that's probably the best way anyone can put it.</span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-73780859265902883432009-03-31T00:34:00.000-07:002009-06-01T01:03:23.405-07:00Top 25 Best Saturday Night Live Sketches Ever (Part 2)<span style="font-style: italic;">Tonight I present part 2 of my top 25 SNL sketches series, including numbers 15-19.<br /><br /></span><span><span style="font-weight: bold;">19. Wake Up and Smile<br /></span>from episode 21.08 - David Alan Grier, Original Air Date 12/09/1995<br /><br /><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/player/player.swf" height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/player/player.swf"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="flashvars" value="&file=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/flvideo/1210951005608271279.flv&height=350&image=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/thumb/371.jpg&width=425&captions=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/captions/showcaption.php?v=371&callback=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/stats/statistics_CSV-3.php&location=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/player/player.swf&logo=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/templates/images/watermark.gif&link=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/view/371/will-ferrell-wake-up-and-smile/&linktarget=_blank&backcolor=0x006600&frontcolor=0x99ff33&lightcolor=0xfb8200"><embed src="http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/player/player.swf" bgcolor="#006600" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" flashvars="&file=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/flvideo/1210951005608271279.flv&height=350&image=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/thumb/371.jpg&width=425&captions=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/captions/showcaption.php?v=371&callback=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/stats/statistics_CSV-3.php&location=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/player/player.swf&logo=http://bcmoney-mobiletv.com/templates/images/watermark.gif&link=&linktarget=_blank&backcolor=0x006600&frontcolor=0x99ff33&lightcolor=0xfb8200" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Starting off tonight's count is a very early Will Ferrell sketch from his first year at SNL, also featuring the underrated Nancy Walls and host David Alan Grier as members of a morning show that must cope with a broken teleprompter. Naturally things devolve fairly quickly into a surreal Lord of the Flies style fight for survival that showcases Will's talent for the insane.<br /><br /><br /><span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">18. Japanese Game Show</span><br />from episode 20.08 - Alec Baldwin, Original Air Date 12/10/1994<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/ugwYEE4vdMu0bs5YgTAVxQ"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/ugwYEE4vdMu0bs5YgTAVxQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />For number 18 we travel back exactly one year earlier, an odd transitory season with few bright spots. Here is one of the few exceptions that is played brilliantly by Mike Meyers, in one of his final SNL performances, speaking what I'm pretty sure is fairly accurate Japanese throughout the entire sketch. This is also the rare sketch where host Alec Baldwin doesn't steal the show, instead that honor goes to Chris Farley as the perplexed American tourist trying to manage his way through the insane game show that surrounds him.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">17. Reagan the Mastermind<br /></span>from episode 12.06 - Chevy Chase, Steve Martin, Martin Short; Original Air Date 12/06/1986<br /><br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/BZjij71PfWmbAFuE5wMVTQ"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/BZjij71PfWmbAFuE5wMVTQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />One of SNL's strongest points that I have really yet to touch on in this list is their ability for political satire, no matter who the incumbent is (The classic Lewinsky-era Clinton sketches are an example). This gem comes from another transitory time in SNL's history, and features the late Phil Hartman doing an impeccable President Reagan with a split-personality. The way he manages to transfor between the public Reagan and the evil, scheming, mastermind version is utter brilliance.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">16. Samurai Delicatessen<br /></span>from episode 1.10 - Buck Henry, Original Air Date 01/17/1976<br /><br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/NTnG5Nw9oko6mfJUDrkaaQ"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/NTnG5Nw9oko6mfJUDrkaaQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />"NBC'S Saturday Night," as the show was known during its first year, had what many consider to be the most ultimately well-rounded cast that the show's ever had, and while it would be a good 9 years before I was born, I can appreciate the talents of the legendary John Belushi and his samurai character. The humor here is much different from the modern show, not particularly refined, but with a much stronger emphasis on absurdity and sight gags, which is pretty much what you'd expect with a sketch called "Samurai Delicatessen."<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">15. Lazy Sunday<br /></span>from episode 31.09 - Jack Black, Original Air Date 12/17/2005<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/PvZcMs_bQiCoJyfv8ZOzoQ"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/PvZcMs_bQiCoJyfv8ZOzoQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />Before I started making this list I had no idea that this famous Digital Short and the spelling bee sketch were from the same episode. Either way, the Digital Shorts are probably the most well known feature of the current era of SNL, and it was a hard decision to choose this Short over some of it's brethren (particularly <a href="http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/d-in-a-box/51523/">Dick in a Box</a>, and other lesser known ones such as <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/1495/saturday-night-live-snl-digital-short-business-meeting-with-rainn-wilson">Business Meeting</a>), but ultimately this classic featuring Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell put SNL back on the map after several disappointing post-Will Ferrell seasons. With so many incredible one-liners, it can hardly be argued that "Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = Crazy Delicious."<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Check back later in the week for 10-14...</span><br /></span></span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-38698856265131893182009-03-28T20:38:00.000-07:002009-06-01T01:04:30.679-07:00Top 25 Best Saturday Night Live Sketches Ever (Part 1)In thinking about a topic to write about, I've decided to call upon a subject that I have a fairly intimate knowledge of. Over the next couple of days I'll be running down what I feel are the 25 best sketches that have ever been on Saturday Night Live. As a disclaimer, with me being the age that I am I've only seen a few of the episodes from the 70s and 80s, as obviously I wasn't born until 1985 and the old repeats on E! only ranged back to 1989-ish. Obviously I'm probably missing some great obscure sketches from that period but I still feel like I've compiled a list an adequate list. With all that being said, let's begin.<br /><br /><br /><span class="fullpost"><span style="font-weight: bold;">25. Dysfunctional Family Dinner</span><br />from episode 23.11 - Sarah Michelle Gellar, Original Air Date 01/17/1998<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/toxyJf3aDaGrsDeWRhTQJQ"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/toxyJf3aDaGrsDeWRhTQJQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />This first sketch is classic Will Ferrell: the screaming, over-maniacal, egomaniac who spurts off randomly hillarious phrases such as "I drive a Dodge Stratus!" What really makes this sketch is how well Will and fellow cast member Ana Gasteyer (and host Sarah Michelle Gellar) manage to sit there in dead silence as they pick at their food without cracking up. This kind of understated tension is something we don't see from Will very often today (think of how over the top he is in Anchorman or Talladega Nights) but easily helps this sketch into the first spot.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">24. Dieter's Dream</span><br />from episode 18.16 - Miranda Richardson, Original Air Date 03/20/1993<br /><br /><embed src="http://www.clamshare.com/flvplayer.swf" bgcolor="#ffffff" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" flashvars="file=http://www.clamshare.com/uploads/APBEDNCqajggkYoxOvHK.flv&image=http://www.clamshare.com/uploads/thumbs/APBEDNCqajggkYoxOvHK.jpg&logo=http://www.clamshare.com/templates/images/playerlogo/logo.png&bufferlength=10&volume=50&fullscreen=true&shuffle=true&stretching=exactfit" height="320" width="480"></embed><br /><br />Mike Myers is known for his outlandish characters and sometimes surreal sense of humor, and never is it more apparent in this classic send-up of avant garde films. Myers' Dieter character first appeared as host of the German show "Sprockets" where he would command guests to dance and touch his pet monkey. Here he puts his character into a brilliant parody of German experimental films, complete with nonsensical imagery and rambling dialogue.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">23. Spelling Bee</span><br />from episode 31.09 - Jack Black, Original Air Date 12/17/2005<br /><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='480' height='320' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dwYY0djMrWmzbilBaHC5HwbUJY29WnjsU-xnN_50KVLYi5ylg5uSxqVSwOoVLVx7JhO4se6AAOIFko' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />Alright, so here's an obscure little gem featuring Will Forte demonstrating some wicked knowledge of comedic timing. Several of Forte's characters speak in this diminutive, droll voice, but here he ruthlessly pushes it to extremes and takes the audience along with him as they decide on whether or not the spiel is still funny or not. Forte's been on the show for 6 years now and it's a wonder more people don't know about his raw talent.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">22. Bambi 2002<br /></span>from episode 27.19 - Kirsten Dunst, Original Air Date 05/11/2002<br /><br /><embed src="http://www.spike.com/efp" quality="high" bgcolor="000000" name="efp" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" flashvars="flvbaseclip=2817005" allowfullscreen="true" align="middle" height="300" width="480"></embed><br /><br />Robert Smigel's "TV Funhouse" shorts have always been hit or miss with me, however there is no denying the shear awesomeness that is Bambi 2002. Smigel hits the nail on the head with this brilliant parody of Disney and its constant desire to re sell rehashes of its old classics for a modern audience and a quick buck. The utter randomness of stock footage used in this (scenes from Akira and a Yankees game) only adds to the hilarity.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">21. Ed Glosser: Trivial Psychic<br /></span>from episode 18.04 - Christopher Walken, Original Air Date 10/24/1992<br /><br /><object height="296" width="512"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/RPcAofag-y3DwGDynsj5og"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/RPcAofag-y3DwGDynsj5og" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" height="296" width="512"></embed></object><br /><br />Christopher Walken is well known for being one of SNL's most frequent and funniest hosts (and this isn't his only appearance on this list), however he steals the show as a man who received psychic powers in an accident, yet can only use them to foreshadow trivial matters, like slipping on a wet floor or getting an ice-cream headache. Walken's over the top jolts and facial expressions every time he touches one of his co-workers hands (as well as the cast's incredulous reactions to him) easily rank this sketch as one of Walken and SNL's best.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">20. Debbie Downer at Walt Disney World<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span>from episode 29.18 - Lindsay Lohan, Original Air Date 05/01/2004<br /><br /><embed src="http://www.buzznet.com/assets/bnflvplayer4.swf?file=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.buzznet.com%2Fassets%2Fvideox%2F2%2F2%2F8%2F3%2F3%2F7%2Forig-228337.flv&clip=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.buzznet.com%2Fassets%2Fvideox%2F2%2F2%2F8%2F3%2F3%2F7%2Fthumb-228337.jpg%3F1177367242%3F1177367242&autoStart=false&site=bn&video_file_id=228337&ad_tag=&oheight=378&owidth=470&tag=0&s_account=buzznetpoc&s_dc=112&s_visitorNamespace=buzznet&oas_path=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.buzznet.com%2Fassets%2FOmnitureActionSource.swf" quality="best" scale="noScale" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowScriptAccess="always" wmode="transparent" id="vembedobj" width="470" height="378"></embed><br /><br />One of the things that Jimmy Fallon is perhaps best known for during his 6 year tenure on SNL was his tendency to crack up during sketches that weren't all that funny to begin with. The difference with this first Debbie Downer sketch is that not only is the entire premise so absurdly funny, but the <span style="font-style: italic;">entire cast</span> actually breaks character more than Jimmy does. Things eventually get so bad that the cast can barely make it through to the end, with host Lindsay Lohan trying her hardest to force herself to proclaim that Rache Dratch's character is actually ruining her time at Disney World. The unfortunate thing about how legendary this sketch was is that the writers decided to make it recurring, and none of the subsequent iterations of the character manage to come anywhere close to what this one achieved.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I'll take a look at the next 5 in my list in the next week....</span></span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-19113494736973045162009-01-19T01:29:00.001-08:002009-06-01T01:05:17.526-07:00A Magical Adventure<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7f/DisneyTicketBook_wbelf.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 457px; height: 180px;" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7f/DisneyTicketBook_wbelf.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Because I decided to get an annual pass to Disneyland at the start of the year, I've been finding myself there several times over the last month. Today, however, was probably the longest tour of duty that I have yet engaged in, and it is with great magic that I present the event log for the day.<br /><br /><br /><span class="fullpost">12:00 PM ARRIVE DISNEYLAND RESORT<br /><br />Enter CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE<br />1. Get fastpass for "Tower of Terror"<br />2. Ride "Soarin' Over California" (40 Minute wait)<br />3. Ride "Tower of Terror" (10 Minute wait)<br />Exit CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE<br /><br />Enter DOWNTOWN DISNEY<br />4. Eat lunch at Tortilla Jo's<br />5. Get coffee at Compass Books<br />6. Walk through Grand Californian Hotel to try to get back to CA Adventure... fail.<br />Exit DOWNTOWN DISNEY<br /><br />Enter CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE<br />7. Ride "Grizzly River Run" (50 minute wait)<br />8. Get in line for "Toy Story Mania" (50 minute wait)<br />9. Get out of line to go run to Disneyland and get a fastpass<br />Exit CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE<br /><br />Enter DISNEYLAND<br />10. Get a fastpass for "Indiana Jones" that activates 5 hours later<br />Exit DISNEYLAND<br /><br />Enter CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE<br />11. Return to and ride "Toy Story Mania"<br />12. Get a churro<br />Exit CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE<br /><br />Enter DISNEYLAND<br />13. Contemplate the Matterhorn's ridiculously long "35 minute" wait queue<br />14. Watch "Honey I Shrunk the Audience" (5 minute wait)<br />15. Get a fastpass for "Autopia"<br />16. Ride "Space Mountain" (60 minute wait)<br />17. Eat dinner at Pizza Port<br />18. Ride "Autopia" (10 minute wait)<br />19. Ride "Big Thunder Mountain" (25 minute wait)<br />20. Ride "Splash Mountain" (30 minute wait)<br />21. Ride "Winnie the Pooh" (5 minute wait)<br />22. Get ice cream at Gibson Girl Ice Cream Parlor<br />23. FINALLY Ride "Indiana Jones" (15 minute wait)<br />Exit DISNEYLAND<br /><br />11:20 PM LEAVE DISNEYLAND RESORT<br /><br />As you can imagine my feet are going to fall off. Also, I'm done with Disneyland for awhile.</span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-24431612257344943862009-01-10T00:28:00.000-08:002009-01-10T00:29:59.946-08:00I Got Ambitious.So now all of my photos ever from 2003 to 2009 are up on Picasa. Have fun.<br /><br /><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/neochoa">http://picasaweb.google.com/neochoa</a>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-90287260242480966782009-01-07T19:51:00.000-08:002009-06-01T01:12:11.133-07:00Randomly Important Photos for Historical ImportanceEDIT: JK I AM USING PICASA NOT FLICKR<br /><br />Against my better judgment I have decided to put every single photo that I have ever taken since 2003 up on <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/">Picasa</a> for archival purposes. To that end I am starting from 2003 and slowly making my way to the present day, and I invite all of you lovely people to accompany me on my journey through time and space.<br /><br />For now there's a small chunk from 2003 itself up, including some from France. I have a limit to how many MBs of photos I can put up a month and these old film digitizations take up a lot of space, but I'll post here whenever I upload more.<br /><br />PICASA: <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/neochoa">http://picasaweb.google.com/neochoa</a><br /><br /><span class="fullpost">Also if you're viewing this on Blogger, I changed my layout. What do you think, America? If you're viewing this on facebook, then you're lazy!<br /><br />As for an update on the holiday cards, the sent me FOUR. I'm still gonna send some out but I haven't decided what to do yet, so that's why no one has gotten any. Patience!</span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-61802901481132863152008-12-18T14:10:00.000-08:002008-12-18T14:17:52.918-08:00WTF UPS<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i.treehugger.com/files/th_images/ups_truck.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 414px; height: 300px;" src="http://i.treehugger.com/files/th_images/ups_truck.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><table style="width: 601px; height: 306px;" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr class="sec-row-od"><td class="sec-pad"><br /><br />LOUISVILLE,<br /> KY, US </td> <td class="sec-pad"> 12/18/2008 </td> <td class="sec-pad" align="right"> 4:00 P.M. </td> <td class="sec-pad"> DEPARTURE SCAN </td> </tr> <tr class="sec-row-od"> <td class="sec-pad"> <br /></td> <td class="sec-pad"> 12/18/2008 </td> <td class="sec-pad" align="right"> 11:47 A.M. </td> <td class="sec-pad"> ARRIVAL SCAN </td> </tr> <tr class="sec-row-ev"> <td class="sec-pad"> COLUMBUS,<br /> OH, US </td> <td class="sec-pad"> 12/18/2008 </td> <td class="sec-pad" align="right"> 7:33 A.M. </td> <td class="sec-pad"> DEPARTURE SCAN </td> </tr> <tr class="sec-row-ev"> <td class="sec-pad"> <br /></td> <td class="sec-pad"> 12/18/2008 </td> <td class="sec-pad" align="right"> 5:22 A.M. </td> <td class="sec-pad"> ARRIVAL SCAN </td> </tr> <tr class="sec-row-od"> <td class="sec-pad"> NEW STANTON,<br /> PA, US </td> <td class="sec-pad"> 12/18/2008 </td> <td class="sec-pad" align="right"> 1:15 A.M. </td> <td class="sec-pad"> DEPARTURE SCAN </td> </tr> <tr class="sec-row-ev"> <td class="sec-pad"> NEW STANTON,<br /> PA, US </td> <td class="sec-pad"> 12/17/2008 </td> <td class="sec-pad" align="right"> 1:58 A.M. </td> <td class="sec-pad"> ARRIVAL SCAN </td> </tr> <tr class="sec-row-od"> <td class="sec-pad"> LAUREL,<br /> MD, US </td> <td class="sec-pad"> 12/16/2008 </td> <td class="sec-pad" align="right"> 8:34 P.M. </td> <td class="sec-pad"> DEPARTURE SCAN </td> </tr> <tr class="sec-row-ev"> <td class="sec-pad"> LAUREL,<br /> MD, US </td> <td class="sec-pad"> 12/15/2008 </td> <td class="sec-pad" align="right"> 9:07 P.M. </td> <td class="sec-pad"> ORIGIN SCAN </td> </tr> <tr class="sec-row-od"> <td class="sec-pad"> US </td> <td class="sec-pad"> 12/15/2008 </td> <td class="sec-pad" align="right"> 7:42 P.M. </td> <td class="sec-pad"> BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED</td></tr></tbody></table><br /><br /><br />Seriously UPS, are you purposely trying to not get me my holiday cards?Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-52509489144570663942008-12-09T20:48:00.000-08:002009-06-01T01:13:50.367-07:00News Dump!There's a couple of things I've wanted to put out there.<br /><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28139155/"><br />http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28139155/</a> - Illinois Governor tried to 'Auction' Obama's seat<br /><br />So finally a Democrat politician does something wrong, and it's for something as asinine as this? Trying to auction off the senate seat previously occupied by the president-elect? C'mon, guys, step it up. The Republicans get in trouble over having man sex with each other and this is the best you can do? This isn't the 1920s. Anyway how this guy managed to get elected is very face-palm inducing indeed.<br /><br /><br /><span class="fullpost"><style type="text/css">.cc_box a:hover .cc_home{background:url('http://www.comedycentral.com/comedycentral/video/assets/syndicated-logo-over.png') !important;}.cc_links a{color:#b9b9b9;text-decoration:none;}.cc_show a{color:#707070;text-decoration:none;}.cc_title a{color:#868686;text-decoration:none;}.cc_links a:hover{color:#67bee2;text-decoration:underline;}</style><div class="cc_box" style="position: relative;"><a href="http://www.comedycentral.com/" target="_blank" style="display: inline; float: left; width: 60px; height: 31px;"><div class="cc_home" style="border-style: solid; border-color: rgb(207, 207, 207); border-width: 1px 0px 0px 1px; background: transparent url(http://www.comedycentral.com/comedycentral/video/assets/syndicated-logo-out.png) repeat scroll 0% 50%; float: left; width: 60px; height: 31px; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;"></div></a><div style="border-style: solid; border-color: rgb(207, 207, 207); border-width: 1px 1px 0px 0px; overflow: hidden; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,Verdana,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; float: left; width: 299px; height: 31px; color: rgb(112, 112, 112);"><div class="cc_show" style="overflow: hidden; position: relative; background-color: rgb(229, 229, 229); padding-left: 3px; height: 14px; padding-top: 2px;"><a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/" target="_blank">The Daily Show With Jon Stewart</a><span style="position: absolute; top: 2px; right: 3px;">M - Th 11p / 10c</span></div><div class="cc_title" style="padding: 1px 3px 3px; overflow: hidden; font-size: 11px; color: rgb(134, 134, 134); background-color: rgb(245, 245, 245); line-height: 14px; height: 21px;"><a href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=210922&title=msnbc-replaces-fox-news" target="_blank">MSNBC Replaces Fox News</a></div></div><embed style="float: left; clear: left;" src="http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:210922" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="window" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" allownetworking="all" flashvars="autoPlay=false" bgcolor="#000000" height="301" width="360"></embed><div class="cc_links" style="border-style: none solid solid; border-color: -moz-use-text-color rgb(207, 207, 207) rgb(207, 207, 207); border-width: 0px 1px 1px; float: left; clear: left; width: 358px; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,Verdana,sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; color: rgb(185, 185, 185); background-color: rgb(245, 245, 245);"><div style="width: 177px; float: left; padding-left: 3px;"><a target="_blank" href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=166515&title=Barack-Obama-Pt.-1">Barack Obama Interview</a><br /><a target="_blank" href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=167938&title=John-McCain-Pt.-1">John McCain Interview</a></div><div style="width: 177px; float: left;"><a target="_blank" href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?searchterm=Sarah+Palin&searchtype=site&x=0&y=0">Sarah Palin Video</a><br /><a target="_blank" href="http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?searchterm=indecision+2008&searchtype=site&x=0&y=0">Funny Election Video</a></div><div style="clear: both;"></div></div><div style="clear: both;"></div></div><br />I knew MSNBC was in the tank for Obama, but it looks like they're gonna start going all the way. Fortunately FOX News isn't going to go down without a fight. My favorite Daily Show segments are the ones that make fun of the horrible mess that make up our cable news networks, and this one shows just how much they try to pull people into their gaping maw.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.newsweek.com/id/172653"><br />http://www.newsweek.com/id/172653</a> - A biblical argument for gay marriage?<br /><br />Now I don't normally discuss this kind of thing because I feel like the arguments both sides of this issue use are flawed ("prop h8te"? Really guys? Get off of your pedestals. To say that everyone who voted 'yes on 8' hates gays is bull). But I found this article to be an interesting read as it tries to present an opposing viewpoint to what we typically hear, and judging by the comments, aren't used to hearing.<br /><br /><br />Lastly, I leave you with this pleasant image:<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y26/infinitekaos/IMG_0022.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 479px; height: 359px;" src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y26/infinitekaos/IMG_0022.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></div>Seriously. WHY IS THERE SO MUCH OF THIS SHIT. They even have little books about the two actors and their incredibly long and detailed movie careers, complete with fold-out posters and paparazzi-esque photos. Ugh.</span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-83357544297982358712008-10-04T22:29:00.000-07:002008-10-05T02:35:35.460-07:00The California Propositions<span style="font-style: italic;">With the election coming up, I thought I'd weigh in on the propositions on the ballot in my good state of California, since there are so many of them and several seem to be quite the misleading.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 1: High-Speed Rail Bonds: YES</span><br />This is a great idea that's taken forever to make it to a ballot. High-speed rail is a clean, energy efficient mode of transportation that will severely cut down on travel time and costs between Los Angeles and San Francisco. The people involved have spent years developing this plan, and most of the money is already in place.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 2: Farm Animal Protection: YES</span><br />This will require humane treatment for farm animals and allow chickens and other animals to move around and not be confined to a tiny box. If we're going to eat animals, we should at least not be bastards about it.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 3: Children's Hospital Bond Act: NO</span><br />This one has tricky language, and obviously a no vote makes me seem like I hate children, but apparently there was an act like this a few years ago that passed in which the money allocated has yet to be completely used up. I don't think redundant spending is something we need right now.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 4: Parent Notification of Abortion: NO</span><br />There is some tricky language here as well, however I've always felt that the law should stay out of this kind of an issue. While I don't condone abortion as a method of birth control, restricting teens and forcing them to notify their parents will only lead them to less legal, more dangerous methods of obtaining an abortion.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 5: Nonviolent Drug Offenses/Parole</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Restructuring: YES</span><br />The main reason this is on the ballot is due to the apparent overcrowding of our jail and prison system that is costing our state more money than it should. Keep in mind that this is all for generally noviolent crimes. It also establishes drug treatment facilities and rehab centers.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 6: Law Enforcement Funding: NO<br /></span>As much as I hate to deny our law enforcement funding, this doesn't solve the root of the criminal problem. Also a yes vote on 5 makes part of this redundant.<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span>We need to work with what we already have available to us.<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />Proposition 7: Renewable Energy Initiative: NO</span><br />This seems like a good idea in theory, however it imposes way too many restrictions way too quickly. There is already a renewable energy incentive in place that will force companies to use more of it. A constant failure of so many green initiatives is the inability to think long term. It sounds great to turn every energy company into a green company that runs on cow pies, however forcing the issue with such a quick time frame will have disastrous effects on the economy. Moving towards greener industries must be done with careful planning.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 8: Elimination of Right for Same-Sex Marriages: NO</span><br />This should be a non-issue. I understand the traditional, religious definition of marriage, but this obviously extends beyond that. If we're going to allow people of all different religions and beliefs to marry, there should be NO reason why homosexual couples can't get married either. Sure civil unions allow the same thing, in writing, but it's obviously not the same thing in the minds of those couples. If heterosexual couples can have unhappy marriages with divorce, then homosexuals should be able to have happy marriages. All of the reasons about protecting our families and the sanctity of marriage is complete and udder bullshit and is just thinly veiled religious-based discrimination. I guarantee the vast majority of gay families will be a hell of a lot more functional than hetero ones.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 9: Victim's Rights Ammendment: NO</span><br />It seems as though victims already have many rights regarding their cases. I'm not exactly sure what the benefit of this would be.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 10: Alternative Fuel Vehicle Initiatives: NO</span><br />People are already aware of our energy crisis, and sales figures show that they are buying more fuel efficient cars without the government's help. Let the money go someplace else.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 11: Redistricting Initiative: YES</span><br />This allows redistricting to occur based on lines drawn by an independent commission made up of citizens, not politicians.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Proposition 12: Veteran's Bond: YES</span><br />This provides farm and home aid for California veterans. Our vets already have a hard enough time as it is, being veterans and all.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Feel free to lambaste my three cents!</span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-73057203532276654462008-09-16T23:03:00.000-07:002008-09-17T10:00:36.631-07:00Clinton's Return, Part II: Electric Boogaloo<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://imgs.xkcd.com/misc/coolest-est.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://imgs.xkcd.com/misc/coolest-est.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(Note: if you're reading this on facebook, click <a href="http://neochoa.blogspot.com/2008/05/tales-from-future-history-chapter-2.html">here</a> to read part one.)</span><br /><br />Barack Obama took a moment to pause as he crawled through the White House's air ducts, intent on exacting his revenge on those who had put him in this situation. He recalled coming home, two weeks prior to the election, only to find a dozen members of the SWAT team waiting for him. He remembered their sad, disbelieving looks as they piled up tons of Al-Qaida propaganda that had been wrongfully been planted in his home. He even remembered the look on his neighbor little Jimmy Johnson's 13 year old face as he ripped off his Obama/Biden button, threw it to the ground, and then spat in Obama's face. Barack could feel the sting of the child's spit even as he was thrown into the back of the SWAT vehicle and take away on a route that would eventually lead him to the deepest darkest depths of Guantanamo Bay. Now, five months later, he sat huddled in an air vent above the oval office, munching on an arugula, brie, and pear croissanwich that he had managed to conjur up while riding first class back to America. It was time to let people know who the rightful president was.<br /><br />Barack finished his sandwich and began crawling towards the war room, where he had heard Hillary Clinton, President of the United States, scuttle off to before he so eloquently dispatched of her husband, former president William Jefferson Clinton. He paused, as he heard voices below.<br /><br />"Hillary, my friend, this is not why I agreed to be your vice president," sputterred John McCain, still reeling from the piping hot Chai latte that Hillary had thrown in his face. He looked up to see the commander in chief with fire in her eyes.<br /><br />"Listen, John, I know you have 'foreign policy experience' and everything," retorted Hillary, air-quotes and all, "but I'll have you know that i know exactly what I'm doing without you." She moved back to the war table and picked up Russian president Dmitri Medvedev again. "You see, I know this guy's a pansy. I know that if we ally with..." she scanned the map, picking up French president Nicolas Sarkozy, "...say, this guy, we should be able to kick his pussy commie ass."<br /><br />McCain snickered. "Hillary, Sarko is french. You can't expect..."<br /><br />"I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!" Hillary screamed as she chucked the figure at McCain, who blocked it with little hesitation. Hillary raised an eyebrow. "How did you dodge that?"<br /><br />Suddenly, there was a large crash as Barack Obama smashed through the air duct above and flipped down to the ground. "I think the real question, Hillary, is how are <span style="font-style: italic;">you</span> going to dodge <span style="font-style: italic;">my</span> plan for your demise!"<br /><br />Hillary's eyes widened as she turned her back to McCain and faced her former Democratic nominee competitor. "Barack Obama! How the hell did you get here?"<br /><br />Barack cracked his knuckles. "With grit, determination, and a little bit of hope." He paused, tilting his head back in reflection. "also, I killed a lot of people."<br /><br />"Well, you're not leaving this room alive!" Hillary blared, pulling out a gun from her belt and tossing it to John McCain. "John! You know how to fight. Kill him!"<br /><br />McCain raised the gun in front of him, feeling the smooth, cold metal upon his fingertips. Instantly, he was reminded of the Republican values that he stood for and had fought so hard to protect. Unflinching, he aimed the gun and fired.<br /><br />President Hillary Clinton gasped out in horror as the bullet pierced her heart. "Jo---John....w--w-why?"<br /><br />"My friend, you are unfit for command. I am hearby relieving you of your duty from this earth." With that, John McCain emptied the chamber into Hillary, and she slumped to the floor, dead.<br /><br />Barack Obama observed the situation in front of him, and after a moment, moved to shake John McCain's hand. "Sir, I know we debated long and hard about our policies, but right now I can confidently say that that was the best decision you have ever made."<br /><br />McCain stood there, staring at Obama's outstretched hand. "I'm sorry, Mr. Obama, but you see... I'm the president now. And I'm afraid I can't let anyone jeopardize that." McCain snapped his fingers, which brought two White House page boys into the room, who instantly began moving Hillary's body aside. "You see, Hillary was insane. But unlike her, I don't need to control everything. I know my limits. But I do need to control the direction of this country. I need to make sure that every mother, father, and child believes in the fundamental message that my party strives for: government control is evil, unless we're trying to ban something like gay marriage, abortion, or casual Fridays. Then it's ok. For too long I've watched Hillary bastardize the white house with her pro-menstrual cycle agenda. But now, it's big John's time to rise."<br /><br />Obama approached McCain, his hand still outstretched. "Look, John. You're out of bullets. We don't need this partisan conflict. We can be president, together! Think of how wonderfully progressive that would be! It would be an administration full of change and hope!"<br /><br />"I'm afraid it's too late, Barack." Mc Cain inched closer to a door in the wall, hovering his hand over the button that would open it. A smile formed on his lips.<br /><br />"Wait, John, don't do it!" Obama cried out, as John pushed the button. The door groaned and hissed open as fog and smoke blew out from the white, cold room behind. A shadowy figure appeared from the mists and the faint smell of Clinique lipstick filled the air. Obama narrowed his eyes as he tried to make out the figure.<br /><br />"Yes, that's it," exclaimed McCain, wringing his hands together in joy, "come forward!" The mists began to clear, revealing the figure to be that of a slender woman dressed in a red suitjacket with a sash that read "Miss Alaska" draped over her supple bosom. In one arm she held a rifle and in the other, an infant. Unflinching, she cocked the rifle with her free hand and swung it around to point at Barack.<br /><br />"Nice to meet you, Governor Obama. I'm Sarah Palin, and I'm here to kick your Ivy-league, elitist ass."<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">To be concluded!</span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-57113930283390180012008-05-20T22:31:00.000-07:002008-05-21T00:16:34.536-07:00Tales from (Future) History, Chapter 2: Clinton's Return<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://markgorman.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/scary-hillary-clinton.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://markgorman.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/scary-hillary-clinton.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Beep, beep, beep.</span><br /><br />Hillary Rodham Clinton awoke from a dreamless sleep to the sound of her monotonous alarm. Without skipping a beat, she shot her right arm out to the side, laying it rest on her husband's protruding stomach. William Jefferson Clinton, former 41st president of the United States, stirred groggily. "Whazzza?"<br /><br />"Just checking." Hillary rolled ceremoniously out of bed, placing her feet into designer slippers while securing her Burberry robe around her waist. She briskly walked over to the nearby window and flung open the curtains, letting fresh sunlight pour through the room. Bill rolled over, moaning something incoherent about the light while Hillary proceded to fling open the windows, letting the ambient soundscape of chirping birds mixed with car alarms and fire sirens permeate the atmosphere.<br /><br />"It's a great day to be president," exclaimed Hillary, breathing in the smog of Washington through her nostrils.<br /><br />---<br /><br />"Madame president?"<br /><br />Hillary looked up in surprise from the White House's "war table." A figure of Iranian president <span class="fn">Mahmūd Ahmadinejād</span> fell out of her left hand while a tank fell out of her right. Quickly shuffling the various pieces around, she turned towards her visitor, the vice president.<br /><br />"You don't need to hide those from me."<br /><br />"I know, Vice President McCain, but I didn't know it was you," said Hillary, as she embraced John McCain warmly.<br /><br />John chuckled and moved over to the table. "You know, Hillary, you look like a natural behind the table."<br /><br />Hillary smiled, fiddling with a figure of Russian president Dmitry Medvedev. "Believe me, I know. Bill always let me move things around randomly." While saying this, Hillary knocked over a tank from Kosovo's position on the map.<br /><br />"That's great, Hill-Dog." McCain's tone shifted to his more serious drawl. "So...if you don't mind me asking...how is Bara---"<br /><br />Hillary quickly slapped John before he could finish his sentence. "Do NOT mention his name out in the open! Are you insane?"<br /><br />"I'm just asking, I feel like I should know--"<br /><br />"You only need to know what I decide to tell you! That was the agreement that was made!"<br /><br />McCain backed against the wall. Hillary turned away from him for a moment, resting her hands on the table. Finally, she turned around, taking a sip from her chai latte that had been sitting on top of Switzerland. "You know, John, it wasn't easy planting all of that 9/11 terrorist paraphenelia in Barack's home. Do you have any idea how many of Rudy's people I had to pay off for that stuff? TOO many." Hillary began to walk menacingly towards McCain, taking another sip of her latte while slowly unscrewing the lid. "Barack is going to be in Guantanamo for a very long time, and there's no way he's going to ever get out!"<br /><br />She proceded to thrust the remainder of her chai latte into McCain's face, causing him to cry out in pain. "You're a monster, Hillary! You're more of a monster than the entire Vietnamese army."<br /><br />"How did you ever think you would get into this House all by yourself?" Hillary fumed, "You're nothing but a washed up old man. While you're my vice president, you will continue to do as I say, understand?"<br /><br />McCain wiped the remainder of the scalding liquid off of his face. He hung his head and managed to only utter the words "I've made a huge mistake."<br /><br />---<br /><br />Bill Clinton's lifeless body fell to the floor, blood spewing from his orifices. A shadowy female figure hovered above him, cracking her knuckles while beginning to unzip out of her clothes. As she removed her black jumpsuit, it became apparent that this woman was, in fact, a man in disguise. The figure loomed over Bill's body before removing the blonde wig and mask from his face, revealing his identity to his decesased pray.<br /><br />"Can you smell what Barack is cooking?" said Former Senator Barack Obama, D-IL, wiping the remaining blood off of his hands.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">...to be continued!</span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-2472076677282975142007-09-18T21:44:00.000-07:002007-09-18T21:48:26.575-07:00Clips from "Sketches"I've gotten around to uploading a few of the sketches from my high school comedy show, "Sketches in 'C' Major." Perhaps this will remind me that I still have a DVD to finish and release. Anyway, here they are.<br /><br />The Soap Opera Sketch<br />(<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=JHPA2cggbJE">http://youtube.com/watch?v=JHPA2cggbJE</a>)<br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/JHPA2cggbJE"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/JHPA2cggbJE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />The "Lord of the Rings" Cult<br />(<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-D5EgfDdDIY">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-D5EgfDdDIY</a>)<br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-D5EgfDdDIY"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-D5EgfDdDIY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br /><br />and of course, me lip-synching to Michelle Branch.<br />(<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=IKtTl6sM1gI">http://youtube.com/watch?v=IKtTl6sM1gI</a>)<br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/IKtTl6sM1gI"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/IKtTl6sM1gI" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />More clips are available at my <a href="http://www.youtube.com/neochoa">youtube account</a>, and at <a href="http://www.neochoa.com/">http://www.neochoa.com/</a>.Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-5244033128829853502007-08-23T20:52:00.001-07:002007-08-23T21:55:49.432-07:00On Traffic and Related Novelities<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/86/37/23113786.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/86/37/23113786.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />My current living situation following my departure from Santa Barbara has enabled me to have my first taste of constantly being on the road. As a resident of a city that is 20 miles away from the festive mothercity, which is itself another 10 or so from filmland, I have come to know something that I haven't really had to experience since my days at Fairmont: the commute. Growing up in the Los Angeles metropolitan area, albeit in the upper-class echelon of its vicinity more commonly known to Fox-watchers as "The OC," I learned to accept the inevitability of the necessity of commuting. For the first chunk of my time at Fairmont I rode the aptly named school bus, which meant that I had to be at the stop in Whittier a good hour before school began. This was greatly shortened to 20 minutes with my acquiring of more Southern Californian method of transport, a car, in my sophomore year. Yet with the deregulation of my morning schedule came my first experience with the intricacies and complicated nature of rush hour travel. Leaving at 7:35 became my prime departure time due to the nature of the 5 freeway at the time I arrived there, however on times that I left earlier I discovered that I was met with significantly less traffic.<br /><br />These slight inconsistencies later paved the way for my acceptance of the common Los Angeles description of time between any two places within the city as "20 minutes." Indeed, in my head I am 20 minutes away from Fairmont, Jon's house, Julia's old dorm, Angel Stadium, the Block, the Fullerton train station, Birch street (on a bad day), and even downtown Los Angeles (on a good day), despite the fact that the distance of these locations from my residence vary widely. Another important thing that I incorporated into my figures of distance was the "-with traffic" suffix which denotes my estimated arrival time (of 20 minutes) with the added exception of more time should I be "caught in traffic." Traffic in Los Angeles, as you know if you've ever lived here, varies exceedingly wildly depending on time of day, time of year, time on Tom Cruise's Scientology clock, and the positioning of the harvest moon in the sky. Thus, traffic is an every day occurrence and only rarely does it not occur. In my frequent trips to and from Santa Barbara I have attempted to establish a reliable time to travel when I do not get stuck in traffic. I have failed in most of my attempts, thus it takes me anywhere from 1 hour and 50 minutes to 5 and a half hours to make the journey. Even at 10 o' clock on a Sunday I managed to encounter traffic in Hollywood. Where are people going at 10 o' clock on a Sunday? I guess I'm not "in" the industry deep enough to understand.<br /><br />This discussion of traffic, while longer than I intended, leads into my intended topic. A little while ago I made the journey from The Orange County to Santa Barbara with a stopover in Century City for a job interview. My interview was at the unorthodox time of 5 o' clock on a Friday, so naturally assuming there would be traffic, I left my house at 3. To my surprise, I found that no traffic awaited me on the 5, despite the fact that two weeks prior I had left my house at the exact same time in the exact same direction and experienced traffic from Norwalk to San Fernando (about 35 miles). This unexplainable difference led me to arrive at my destination a full hour early, thus enabling me some time to cruise around Beverly Hills (looking for, admittedly, a Jamba Juice). Having reach Santa Monica Boulevard I invariably entered into the most traffic I had experienced all day. Somewhat bewildered, I remained in traffic until I decided that I should forgo the smoothie for after the interview. At the point when I was about to turn, however, I discovered that the cause of the traffic was the reduction of lanes to accommodate a funeral procession that was about to start. No sooner was I turning than a casket, accompanied by mourners, flash bulbs, and policemen came out of a church and headed towards the street. Only later did I discover this to be the funeral of producer Merv Griffin, accompanied by a plethora of famous people, including the governor, Pat Sajak, Alex Trebek, and Nancy Reagan (who I recognized as someone famous but didn't identify who immediately). Only in Los Angeles would a funeral cause such a commotion, and only there would I drive by and think, "oh, famous person died," and continue on my way.<br /><br />Following my interview I once again departed on the road, taking the treacherous 405 out into the valley. Again, I was confounded at the lack of traffic. This did not last, however, and I ran into traffic upon my approach to Camarillo, of all places (long time readers of this blog will know of my <a href="http://neochoa.blogspot.com/2006/05/camarillo-and-quest-for-taco-bell.html">affectation for the city</a>). This traffic lasted for quite some time, and I became eager to know the cause of it. Eventually I discovered that the cause was not an accident, as I predicted, but instead a lone stalled car, in the center divider. The car itself did not appear to be in any sort of condition that would encourage rubbernecking, instead it's two attractive female passengers, straight up from LA and perched on the divider with arms folded and blonde hair flowing in the breeze, were enough to cause a traffic backup for a good 10 miles.<br /><br />God Bless America.<br /><br />I do look forward to experiencing more of the quirks that makes Los Angeles' mass freeway system so amazing, and hopefully in my commuting travels between home and my new job in Century City will provide me with more fodder for reflection on the state of this great city. That, or I'll end up going nuts and taking the metrolink.Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-75865321058450670852007-08-15T21:40:00.000-07:002007-08-15T22:13:52.884-07:00Status ReportFor all who are interested (as well as those who aren't)...here's a little status update on my current situation.<br /><br />I graduated from UCSB back in June, and officially finished up my classes two weeks ago. I've thus moved back home to Orange County until I get some money and job experience. I've had one interview thus far (meh), and I've got another one tomorrow and yet another on Friday... hopefully something good comes of either of them. Until then I'm stuck in THE OC with not much to do. I'm still editing Brains and Brawn, and I'm also looking to start writing again. I'm not quite ready for the "big project" that I have in my head so I want to see if I can do some shorts first. Also it'd be cool if anyone else is doing something that I can help on. I'd be more than willing to help out. I think it'd be a good idea if we formed a network so we always know what's going on with each other.<br /><br />NEOFilm wise, I've sold out of the first run of Open Toes DVDs, with more on the way. I'm really impressed at how quickly I went through 50 DVDs. It's great that so many people were interested in the show.<br /><br />I've also finished my NEOShorts, Volume One DVD, which contains every short film that I've done...ever. It's doubling as my reel so there's even some stuff from Vincent Lin Must Die! and Brains and Brawn on there. I'll be putting that up on my site as well.<br /><br />Anyway, that's what's going on with me. I'll be up in Santa Barbara from time to time, including this weekend. Keep in touch.Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-39402936064733469692007-04-21T23:07:00.000-07:002007-04-22T00:25:45.950-07:00R.I.P. Alice 2004-2007<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://img.alibaba.com/photo/10823627/Dell_Inspiron_8600_Laptop_Computer_Wide_Screen_XP_P4.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://img.alibaba.com/photo/10823627/Dell_Inspiron_8600_Laptop_Computer_Wide_Screen_XP_P4.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>It is with grave condolences that I must report that <span style="font-style: italic;">Alice</span>, my laptop of almost three years, has resolutely died for good. After a three day battle that involved having her innards ravaged with methodical probing tools and fingers, it was finally determined that <span style="font-style: italic;">Alice</span> could not be saved. At around 3:25 PM, <span style="font-style: italic;">Alice</span> had her hard drive removed for salvaging, and the withered, battered yet tough shell that remained was cast off into the depths of the metaphorical recycling bin.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Alice</span> had her memory wiped twice, and her original hard drive died in June, however she kept on persisting. She had cracks and holes, but still contained lots of important data and was always a constant companion. <span style="font-style: italic;">Alice</span> is survived by a five year old DELL Dimension desktop affectionately dubbed <span style="font-style: italic;">Winston</span>.<br /><br />She's being replaced by a sexy DELL XPS M1210. I'm pretty sure I can manage.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.astera.ru/news/images/2006/2006_05_02/XPS_2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.astera.ru/news/images/2006/2006_05_02/XPS_2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-1164310700232780312006-11-23T10:54:00.000-08:002009-10-28T02:47:36.583-07:00A Tale of Two Sandals (Part One)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.barefootcomfort.com/dynamicdata/uploadImages/rainbow%20rack2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.barefootcomfort.com/dynamicdata/uploadImages/rainbow%20rack2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Open Toes<span style="font-style: italic;"> is a film currently in production as part of the Film and Media Studies 106 production course. The plot revolves around the segregation between two gangs at UCSB, the Rainbows and the Reefs, and a love story that emerges between two star-crossed lovers from opposing sides. The following is Part 1 of a series of entries about the production of the movie by writer Nick Ochoa. It is completely factual.</span><br /><br />For those of you who don't know, I'm making another movie. Well, I wrote it, anyway; other people are making it, but that's besides the point. In late summer of 2006 I responded to a cry for assistance by one Sarah Dietrich, a charismatic producer with a movie idea hot off the presses. This producer had a dream - a dream of an epic tale whose effects would span multiple generations of Santa Barbarians, much as the Bible influenced several generations of Christian fundamentalists. She had a dream of a biting satire of a segregated society, whose very rivalry depended on such minuscule issues as what they wore on their feet. Indeed, this was a tale true to every form of segregation known to man (and only man). This tale was about the bitter rivalry between those who wear Rainbow sandals and those who wear Reef sandals.<br /><br />It was to this vision that I answered the call. Sitting down with the starry-eyed producer for hours upon end over endless amounts of hot cocoa and cocaine, I learned of the epic nature of her vision.<br /><br />"Unfortunately," she said to me, "I cannot translate my thoughts into words. This...is where I need <span style="font-style: italic;">you</span>."<br /><br />Such candor I had never seen before. "I'll take the case!" I shouted. I fervently began writing what I could of her dream, but condensing a 5 hour epic with a star cast (including Morgan Freeman as narrator) and battle scenes that rivaled <span style="font-style: italic;">Return of The King</span> in choreography and extras down to a mere twenty minutes was no easy task. Night after night I walked along the cliffs for inspiration, searching for a muse from whom I could channel creative energy. Alas, the sea was a cold mistress, and I succeeded only in getting my laptop wet. I spiraled into a whirlwind of 60s-era depression, complete with the funky colors and Strawberry Alarm Clock playing in my head, and tried so many combinations of narcotics that I was close to becoming more dead than Steve Irwin in a tank full of stingrays.<br /><br />And yet, I pressed on. After disappearing from society for more than a month, I emerged from the depths of Isla Vista with a script whittled down to thirty minutes. I debated with myself for literally hours, trying to figure out what had to be cut for the sake of sanity. Ultimately, it was the ten minute sex ghost orgy that concluded the film which had to be left on the cutting room floor. Heartbroken but confident, I returned to Sarah Dietrich with her vision faithfully translated to a Microsoft Word document. I'll never forget the words that she uttered to me upon receipt of the stack of paper.<br /><br />"That's fine, whatever."<br /><br />It was my finest hour. With script in hand, we jubilantly marched off towards the film pitches, prepared to tackle whatever obstacles would come our way. Little did we know that the obstacles we encountered made the obstacles surrounding world piece look like a 4th grade obstacle course (you know, with the tires, stolen street cones, hopscotch chalk, etc).<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Next: The Crew!</span>Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26765291.post-1162063287665003252006-10-28T11:04:00.000-07:002006-11-23T14:42:13.551-08:00A Very Special IV Halloween<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.jamestorlakson.com/Imagery/Drawings/6001-Jack-O-Lantern.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.jamestorlakson.com/Imagery/Drawings/6001-Jack-O-Lantern.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Here at the University of California, Santa Barbara, once a year there comes along a special event that takes the world by storm. It's an event that everyone plans for at LEAST a month in advance. Chances are that if you live in this blissful community of Isla Vista, you have had at least three friends from out of town ask if they could stay with you over this gallant weekend of tomfoolery. Yes, dear people, I'm referring...to HALLOWEEN.<br /><br />Halloween is a time of year for everyone to escape the horrors that are the first four weeks of college. After all, who can bear going to 2 classes a day, 4 days a week, and only staying awake in half of them? I sure as hell can't. And what's up with scheduling all these midterms around the weekend? How dare they put ANYTHING on week 5 of a 10 week quarter! It's like I'm in...college or something. Moreover, Halloween is an excuse to walk around outside in nothing but a large t-shirt, call it a costume, and only be mildly assaulted for it. I admit that 1 out of the 3 ideas I had for Halloween costumes was to go out with a hairdryer and call myself "Hairdryer Man", but at least that's got some ingenuity and class. And I immediately respect anyone that goes out as an eskimo (and by that I don't mean a slutty eskimo, or a slutkimo, as I like to call it), because let's face it, you'll be a lot better off than someone who's a half-naked pirate.<br /><br />While we're on the topic of slutty costumes...what's the deal with slutty costumes? I mean, aside from the obvious "look at me, I do lots of coke and weigh 80 lbs and have a hot body" aspect of it, has anyone thought about the historical liberties that "slutty" costumes take? Let's not forget that what we Gen Y-ers think of as promiscuous has only been the case for about 40 or so years. I'm pretty sure that in the arrr-ful pirate eras of the 1700s, a woman who was on a pirate ship was most definitely NOT a pirate, but more of a sex-slave to the large, ale-swigging captain of the ship, which is definitely NOT what the women of today are going for. The same goes for other historically inaccurate costumes, such as slutty nuns, slutty nurses, slutty astronauts, slutty prostitutes, and slutty ninjas. If you do, however, decide to dress up as a slutty Ann Coulter...well, I have no complaints about that.<br /><br />My favorite part about Halloween is how many diverse people I meet while wandering the streets. There is nothing more enjoyable than to see someone peeing on a parked car, walking up to him, and then finding out that he's from UCSD. I think it's great that San Diegans come up here to pee on our cars, really. Upon further interviewing, you can discover all sorts of information from our out-of-town friends. People come to IV for various reasons, including "banging hot UCSB chicks," "getting piss ass drunk," "assaulting the police horses," and "banging hot UCSB chicks." I think it's great that IV attracts such a diverse crowd, and I for one always get a bit of a rush when I see Embarcadero del Sur clogged with cars trying to naively drive down to "The DP," and it really impresses me that so many people would drive for hours just to get "hella drunk" and possibly have drunken intercourse with someone who's probably not even from Santa Barbara. Anything that can make our population rival that of a World Series game for a 6 day period is A-ok with me. Congrats to the Cards, by the way.<br /><br />In summary, I don't think the county does a good enough job of promoting Halloween in Isla Vista. Just think of the revenue they can get by putting up a toll booth on Storke and El Colegio and charging people $1 to go through. Forget Measure D. I think Arnold should make IV tolls a top priority for his campaign...I know he'd get my vote. Also, the county could set up a booth and have a "Sluttiest slut" costume contest. It could be a family event. Hell, it IS Halloween, promote child trick-or-treating! Afterwards, the kids could ride police horses down the street and take pictures of the lines of arrested people (including Dad, who swore she was 18). Fun for the whole family!<br /><br />Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go prepare my "slutty Thomas Jefferson" costume.Nickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10217117480672648926noreply@blogger.com1